Thursday, September 1, 2011

Only Blob

This story begins like any other: BRAIN VOMITING.

That is not really how it begins, but it's a start, I suppose.  So, let's start with the real story:

Kelli is my name. You know, the one that my parents gave me, after the street I grew up on as a child (that's right, they ran out of names).  So, I had the normal childhood: one in a family of nine children and two parents; wanted to grow up to be a vet, but realized at a young age that I did not want to attend TEN YEARS of education beyond high school; and experienced several strange occurrences of karma for being a bratty child (like breaking the exact same arm as my sister 5 minutes after making fun of her for breaking hers).
As a relatively normal person, it is evident that I would follow the route of normal people.  The "normal" people I knew, all went to college; thus, I went to college.  After getting credit for first year english from my AP English class in high school, I figured I would get out of a class, but upon my arrival to college, I received the unwelcome news.  The school basically mocked me as if to say, "S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E! Your communications major requires you take the first-year writing with or without AP credit, sucker!"  I was fine with it because I like writing, and soon discovered my specific writing 150 class would be focused on blogging, as an experiment-- that's right, BLOGGING.
Of course, who wants to just fit into a category of people? (That's a rhetorical question.) I don't want to be just another "blogger."  Instead, I decided to take the route my teacher, Christopher, suggested by accident while stumbling over some of the words in our course syllabus describing what was supposed to be, "the academic blog."  Thus, "The Academic Blob" was born.
The trend will catch on; people will be "blobbing" all over the internet.  After all, who would not want to be able to tell their friends, "yeah, I blob a lot?" (Another rhetorical question.)  I am not 100% positive, but I am going to go with my gut feeling, or woman's intuition, or sixth sense, or whatever other kind of powers I could obtain to say that the likeliness of "blobbing" becoming popular among crowds has a 99.99723% chance.

SO, obviously this "blob" has a purpose besides brain vomit and blob fish with horribly done Microsoft paint skills editing (did that sentence make sense?);  it is to correlate how blobs and brain vomit can come together in order to unify the specific point that there are several problems in the world that can easily be voiced by means of opinion editorials.  Sure, I do not exactly know how to define opinion editorials, but I am sure that wikipedia will do a fine job in the meantime.

Anyways, back to the subject of problems.  What are problems? How does one solve them? Well, that has yet to be answered, BUT! Coming to a university campus setting, I have been able to find several small problems within the young adult committee. The main one: going to a class with lots of people and managing to be awkward enough so that the entire room feels stuffy. Any idea what I mean by that? Well, to put it simply in ANY given situation with ANY type of people (pretty, young, old, sci-fi readers, etc.), the strangers will most often arrange their seating so that they never sit next to anyone they do not know (unless seats are low) AND they avoid talking to each but regularly make eye contact with the stranger as they peer around the room in hopes to find someone they know or someone they find attractive.  It is basically the most unsatisfying feeling I have ever dealt with in my life. Definitely an opinion editorial I could expound on. That is... if anyone is interested to hear more? So, I think you have got to take this moment to ask yourself, "Can I handle this amount of truth?"


  1. Wow what an awesome brain vomit! I followed everything you said, yet I was amazed at how well it all tied together. My brain isn't capable of doing least not to my knowledge. As for the awkward classroom situation, I agree. It is awkward, and interesting to see that happen. Maybe we should do something to change that

  2. Andy, I hope there was no sort of sarcasm in your comment; however, thank you, if you are being serious. I think we could definitely do something to change awkwardness... but it will take time! HAHA!

  3. Thanks you for eloquently stating what I seem to be unable to!

  4. I'm sure you are perfectly capable of producing something of equal eloquence, if not better! BELIEVE IN THE BLOB!